Once upon a time….you do know all fairy tales start this way.
A rather naïve boy with limited intellect traded a cow for a sack of what the used cow salesman told him were magic beans. Now this cow was the only thing of any value
Jack’s family had to sell as they faced starvation after the cow stopped giving milk. When Jack returned home he had a wide grin on his face ear to ear. Surly his mother would be impressed with the trade he made for magic beans. Widowed mother Rose Kentady
threw the beans out the window in anger and disgust. “Why can’t you be more like your departed father and traded that old cow for some smuggled whiskey we could sell at an enormous profit,” she said. “You can just go to bed hungry.”
And he did.
Well the next morning when the sun streamed into his bedroom’s broken glass window the light beam came with a long spindly, green leafy, vine that reached in to tickle his nose. Now wide awake, Jack threw open the window sash to see
how the vine got into his bedroom. He saw a wondrous bean vine with a trunk the size of a redwood tree. The bean vine reached all the way up and through clouds floating above in a vivid turquoise blue sky. Where there is a giant bean vine there just
might be giant beans for breakfast, Jack thought. His starving stomach touching his backbone as Jack leaped out of the bedroom window to climb the vine and find its giant beans. Well you know the rest of the story. No beans were found, but he did find
a giant castle floating in the clouds. The castle’s owner was also a giant or as we now use a more politically correct label, the giant and his wife were victims of hyperplasia of their pituitary glands. Like dwarfs who prefer “little people”,
giants prefer “big people”. Mr. Large Person’s wife took Jack into the castle and fed him when he showed up at her door because she had so few visitors and enjoyed the company of the small boy. Her husband was on his annual terror tour of
a local village. He would certainly not approve of another man/boy visiting with his wife while he was away. Jack was not grateful for her kindness. On each of three visits he fled the castle with several of their prize possessions including a bag of gold
coins, a goose that laid golden eggs, and an automated golden harp that played songs without any coin slot.